I’ve try to figure things up with my family meaning with my siblings. I’m the oldest of six and three of them lives a few blocks from my home.

I’ve been taking care of my dad since 2012. My husband and my kids support my decision with one simple condition I will get help from my three siblings.

When I brought my dad into my home, they were willing to help at least with his showers. They would take turns also they didn’t want to come on the weekends and I agree.

Then one by one they begin to complain. They complain about back pains, pinch nerves in their necks, or pain in their bodies. And one day they stop coming. For the past three years I’ve been taking care of my dad with the help from my husband.

My siblings come to visit on special occasions like his birthday or holidays no longer than 30 minutes. On Father’s Day two of them came with a gift and took a few pictures. They posted the picture in social media with a comment “happy day with dad”. Someone made a comment under the picture “how lucky they are and they have won a piece of heaven for taking care of him”.

I cringe every time I read the comment or see the picture. My dad doesn’t know what’s happening and I try not to show my emotions. I feel sad and depressed when something like this continue to happen.

As now, my responsibility is to take care of him and grateful for having my husband helping me. The hospital close from my home has a program call “Home Health Care” and they will be coming for a couple of months. We are lucky it will be covered by his Medicare. However, I don’t know how long it’s going to last.

I love my family and I always do; however, I feel so disconnected. I don’t want this incident to shadow the happiness of having my dad in my home. They are missing the opportunity to spend time with our dad.

Daily Post: Cringe

19 thoughts on “Cringe

  1. Your Dad knows the truth. I understand the challenges. At least they showed up for a holiday photo. When we cared for my mother-in-law her two daughters were invisible. When she finally passed they din’t even know about it. Nor did they ever ask. Hugs to you and your Dad and husband.


  2. I am all too familiar with the type of situation you are going through. You are stronger than you know. How wonderful of you and your family to do this and what a blessing to be able to take care of your father. Unfortunately, we cannot control the actions and emotions of those around us. (How much easier would that be, right?!) using home health services will be of great benefit to you. With his Medicare, he will qualify for several different types of care such as home health and hospice without it costing you. Take advantage of those. These are here to help him and you. Sending big hugs your way!


      1. No problem! And yes, use that help. If you have a local Council on Aging they also may be able to help with services too. Just another thought.


  3. sheebabhaskaran

    Do not feel bad about it. Getting an opportunity to take care of your parents is a blessing that’s what we Indians believe. We also believe that if we take care of our parents we don’t need to worship God or go to sacred places. And also that you will always get repaid for the same later in your life. When you take care of your parents your children will learn to do so and will take care of you also. Feel proud about it. And think of the things your father had done for you and it will motivate you further. I am proud of you..Cheers


  4. Sadly, Margret, this is completely normal. There is always one who ends up having the most responsibility. It is very sad that your siblings are ok with taking credit for something they aren’t doing.


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