I’m heartbroken

Yesterday (Sunday- November 12) my father passed away. It feels like I’m in a dream and I can’t wake up. I’m heartbroken and I feel an emptiness in my heart.

He wasn’t sick. He wakes up at his normal time. We talk, I moved him to his chair, and went to the bathroom to get ready his toothbrush.

I heard him making a noise and when I look he looks he was falling from the chair. I run to get him and he didn’t respond. My husband came after he heard me scream and between both of us, we put him back in bed. At that point I was calling and shaking him, however he wasn’t responding. We call 911 and less than 3 minutes they were at our house.

My brother arrives and step into the ambulance meanwhile I was crying, calling my other siblings, and waiting for my son to arrive so he can watch my two granddaughters. A few minutes later I arrived at the hospital and my father still unresponsive with no pulse. From the time he arrives to the hospital it took at least 20 minutes for the doctor to tell me, he was gone.

I can’t believe it. I want to wake up from terrible dream and see him sitting in his chair. I kept telling the doctor we were talking about the grandkids, when I was going to decorate his bedroom for Christmas, and he looks fine in perfect health. The doctor responds she was sorry about my loss and he went into cardiac arrest and he didn’t suffer.

Yesterday, Sunday November 12 my dad left this world in a peaceful way and went to heaven. I’m sure he’s reunited with my mother who passed away 31 years ago.

Today I’ve spend the day making funeral arrangements. We decide after Thursday church services he will be cremated. And after the holidays I will be traveling with my siblings back home to Puerto Rico, where he will be buried with my mother.

I feel lonely, confused, and unhappy with God for taking him. It’s a normal reaction, is what everyone keeps telling me. I sit in his bed waiting for an answer and I can’t heard anything. I wasn’t ready to lose him either my family.

My dad turns 81, exactly a month ago. I will miss him, miss our talks, and watch together our Spanish TV Novelas.

Rest in Peace, my lovely Dad. One day, I will see you and mom in heaven. Please watch over us, my Guardian Angel.


7 thoughts on “I’m heartbroken

  1. Andrea Allen

    My condolences to you and your family. I know that it is a hard thing to loose a special person that means so much to you. Within 4 years I have lost 8 beautiful angels that watched over me. (My older sister 2013, Cousin 2013, Youngest Brother 2014, Sister-in-law 2014 (my sister from another mother,) Cousin 2014, my Aunt 2015 (She is a twin), My Uncle 2015, Wonderful Friend 2016 (30+years), and another brother 2017. I can say to you: I’m still grieving, and it will take time to heal. Your angel is still with you in spirit and he will always show you some kind of way, he is still with you. My angels do!! Love you and will pray for healing from losing your angel in the natural. Your Angel is in the Spiritual, therefore you will never lose him again.


  2. roseelaineblog

    I am so so sorry for your loss , no words will ease the pain that you feel but please know that I and countless more people on this site feel for you. May God bless you and your family. Your father was blessed to be delivered in such a peaceful way back into Gods loving arms. 🌹


  3. Very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad, 1 November 1998. I wish I could tell you that it will get easier but to be honest, there are days that I still feel like the pain is too real. I pray that you and your family will find comfort in his memories. I’m sure you have a ton of stories that you will want to write about him and we all look forward to reading them.


  4. Relax...

    (((Margaret))) I’m so sorry for your loss. It does sound like he had a good end to his human journey, and a grand entry to the greater life beyond, where his joy is now magnified. Only on this end is there sadness, which we would erase for you if we coukd. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.


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