Jolt

Very true. What was my little jolt? Yes, I know I’m 56 and it has me take a while to figure things out also appreciate them. The depression likes to take over, however I’ve made a decision to change for good. I’ve lost from my family so much that enough is enough. Not be able to assist to my granddaughter’s baptism, it has been the little jolt I need. I’m not at the family picture from that special day. I broke into tears.

 

Here is what I’m doing:

1-    Take my medicine for depression – I’m taking it daily.

2-    Take my medicine for my Type 2 diabetes- I’m taking it twice a day, no matter if they make me sick in my stomach.

3-    I’ve begin eating healthy and no more than 1200 calories. Watching what I’m eating and I’m keeping track with an app on my phone. I’ve already lose 10 pounds.

4-    I’m walking every day. It clears my mind. Plus, my grandson and my dog are loving it.

5-    Using less social media. I didn’t realize it was taking too much of my time.

6-    I went back to my online classes. I’m taking “Writing Fiction” and they’re fun.

7-    I’m reading more than usual.

8-    I’m taking the time to pray and meditate. It has been great for my soul.

 

I want to be happy and healthy. I can’t let the depression take over. It took a simple photo to make me realize how much I was missing.

Daily Post: Jolt

Healing

Since I stop being on social media it has been fantastic. I’m relax and enjoying other things. I get tempted to peak on my phone or computer once in a while.  However, I will get used to it and it won’t control my life. It was causing emotional stress and it wasn’t fun anymore. I’ve time to write daily filing up pages in my journal with positive thinking and working on my stories. I’m sure I will be back and then I will eliminate those friends and family and they would not have control of me.

Plus, I’ve begin with my spring cleaning and planning to start planting in my garden. Taking this break has helped with my depression and also with my type 2 diabetes. I don’t feel overwhelmed.  I didn’t realize how much energy I’ve waste with social media. I’m listening to more music, reading more than usual, and writing every day. I can’t believe I’m walking and feel more relaxed. I know everything in life has a limit and I was overboard.

 I’ve to let go what makes me feel unhappy like losing my mother years ago plus not having the help of my siblings with our dad. Yes, I need to let it go and heal my soul.

 

Heal

I need this

I’ve been dealing with depression what it looks like forever. I’ve days I feel great, energetic, and positive wanting to do anything.  However, it can change in a second feeling opposite and wanting to be alone. The mood swings are interfering with my life and hurting the people I love. 

My family wants me to make a few changes like eating healthier, meditate, and take a break. Lately I’ve been taking everything seriously and too personal and I need to stop. I want to be the person I was before instead I’ve turned on this moody and cranky person. It makes feel guilty and unhappy.

The word “pause” is a reflection on what I need to do. I’ve to reconnect with all the things that it makes me feel blessed.  My daughter has suggested to disconnect with social media for a while such as Facebook. When I open my account, it was to reconnect with my family and longtime friends. In the beginning, it was exciting to find them to look at their family pictures and how much they have accomplished. However, the fun and the excitement completely gone. Facebook has turned into a bunch of complainers who loves to spread their negativity. Sadly, I’ve to eliminate some from my list of friends, including family members.

I won’t close my account.  I’ve nice people I care very much, I simply want to take a break. Very soon school will be over and my vacation will begin.  It will be time for camping with my grandkids also planning a few trips out of the state.

For now, I’m keeping my Pinterest and my blog. I feel relaxed when I’m blogging or pinning of course, watch a few TV shows, too. Taking care of myself will be good at the end it will take me on a journey to a new me.

 

Daily Post: Pause

Purple

Purple is one of my favorite colors next to pink. The beauty of this color makes feel calm. My bedroom walls just got painted in a light purple what a coincidence with this prompt. Also, I just read that purple symbolize magic and mystery. The best part I’m surrounded with magic.

Daily Prompt: Purple

 

Controversy

What a week of controversy. I’m not talking about how the President of the United States has been acting. Yes, we all know how much he loves controversy and the drama. However, I would not waste a minute talking about him who is a disgrace for our country.

The controversy I’m talking about is about me. Sometimes I called myself a chicken because of my silly fears and I’ve a few. One of my fears is driving in the snow, especially when it’s dark outside. I can panic easily and that’s the reason my husband drives me to work during the winter. He went to Arizona for a week. He’s helping my daughter watching the girls who are on spring break. My daughter has to travel to Florida for conferences from work.

According to the weather forecast this past week was going to be warmer except mother nature always likes to play tricks. On Tuesday, we have a few inches of snow and guess what I panic also my car broke down. I was lucky to call my son and he gave me a ride to work. I felt embarrassed of panicking in front of my son. After all, he didn’t care. All day I was upset with myself so I decide to use my husband’s truck the next day and confront my fear.

I’m tired of feeling afraid of silly things, the next morning it took me a few minutes to be brave and I drive the truck. My heart was pounding so hard and I ended having a headache. I began to breath deep and pray. It took me 20 minutes to get to work, but I made it. It was hard confronting my fear, but I did. For the rest of the week I use my husband’s truck.

My husband would be back tomorrow and everything would go back to normal. He will fix my car and I will be back to work on Monday. The weather it’s getting warmer and the snow has melted.

 

Controversy

 

 

Vivid memories

One of my vivid memories March 5, 1983, when my life changed forever and I married my best friend. I remember being nervous and thinking if I was making the right decision. I want the perfect marriage and I knew it won’t be easy.  I decorated my bedroom all white and I did my own makeup and hair. My mother and aunt help with my wedding dress, the veil, and the flower bouquet. Also, my mother’s tears when she saw me before I was leaving home. I’ve a beautiful ceremony and we party all night. Everyone can see the happiness on our faces. Another memory a family member on my husband’s side predicted we will not last a year. Well I proved them wrong. It has been 34th years and with ups and down we still together. For us spending our anniversary shopping, eating in a nice restaurant, and watching TV it’s all we want.

march-5-1983

 

anniversary

 

 

 

anniversary2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Post:Vivid