Courage

In four days I’m going to take my father’s ashes back home. I’ve the courage to move his urn to my living room close to my chair. His bedroom door still close. At soon I leave on Tuesday my husband will be cleaning it up. My father’s clothes would be donated to the Goodwill store. The wheelchair, walker, and his shower chair it will be in a closet until I find someone who can need it.

I’m preparing myself with courage and lots of prayers. The day is approaching and I’m taking baby steps. My two siblings in Puerto Rico are making the arrangements for his funeral service. Spending time with all my family it would be less painful.

When this is all over I hope I’m strong enough to move on. He will be always in my heart like my mother.


Here is a picture of my father’s urn also my little dog who also is next to my chair.

Daily Post: Courage

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Passionate

 

Just Jot It January 4, 2018- Passionate

I am passionate about collecting unicorns, owls, baby dolls, and postcards. Where I put them all around the house.

I am passionate about books. What kind of books? I read almost everything and my favorite genre mysteries.

I am passionate about music, especially the music from the 70’s and 80’s. Oh I forgot no heavy metal and songs with profanity or trashing others.

I am passionate about Hallmark movies and also cheesy movies like Sharkanado. Can you believe that? I love Shark week.

I am passionate about adult coloring books. I already have 15 and my favorite is “The Enchanted Forest” by Johanna Basford.

Last but not least, I am passionate about my grandkids. I can spend hours playing games, doing the girls hair, or going to Barnes and Nobles to get new books.

That’s all for today… for this #JusJoJan for 1/4/18 2018

New Goals- New Year 2018

It’s the last day of 2017. Every year I make a list of goals for the New Year’s. Looking back, I’ve accomplished the majority of them except for making changes on my blog. I begin my first resolution of the year watching and cutting sugars, meaning I’ve lost 30 pounds. I did a lot of walking until the cold weather begun. I accomplished my reading challenge in Goodreads with a goal of 60 and I read 87. I also made a few trips that what’s great, we remodel a few things in my home also great, and a lot of family time. During this summer, I spend time with my grandkids going to the park, the lake, the fair, birthdays, movies, you name it. I’m blessed having my two granddaughters moving in for the school year. Next summer they would be going back to Arizona with my daughter. Finally, she’s graduating and getting a full-time job, her dream job. However, the last two months not so great. In November 12, I lost my father and December 26, my sweet dog Taina.

Don’t take me wrong, I’ve a nice Christmas until the following day. Since then I’ve been depressed also sick with the flu. My mind feels all over the place with no purpose in life.I know in my heart, I’ve a purpose, but I need to find it. I’ve been blessed with a beautiful family, an amazing job, and good friends who are there when you not expected. My goals for 2018 would be at a different level. I want to challenge myself and find my purpose.

My goals for 2018:
1- I’m going back to my church. I need to take care of myself spiritually.
2- I want to reread and study the bible.
3- Be a better person and not judge so quickly.
4- I want to do some volunteering work.
5- I want to participate in a soup kitchen. A friend of mine has been doing it for years.
6- Our principal in our school has a reading program. This will be good for me so I’m signing in.
7- Keep my mind and body healthy. As soon the weather begins to change I’m going back for my walk, meanwhile keep watching what I eat.
8- I’ll be signing for another Goodreads reading challenge. Maybe not reading as many books like before, but reading makes me feel relaxed.
9- I want to do something special with my husband for our 35th anniversary.
10- Spend time with my family and create memories.

Daily Post: Finally

Confess

I put aside my sadness and my Christmas wasn’t too bad. I’ve a gathering with my family on Christmas Eve. We ate a lot, drink wine, laugh, and tell stories. My father was in our minds and I noticed a little bit of tears coming from my younger sister. We have a wonderful time and we cherish some memories.

On Christmas day, only my older son with my grandson came for Christmas. We spend the day playing games, watching movies, and eating. My grandkids have fun. My other two kids, my youngest went with his fiancé and baby to see her family in Minnesota. My daughter stays in Arizona by herself, she can’t get out of work. We got to talk on the phone and she got to talk to the girls who were missing her. It was a great day.

However, one day after Christmas I lost my beloved dog. She was 10 years old and my companion. On Christmas day she looks happy and she was playing with her new toys. However, it looks she was catching a cold because she spends part of the afternoon sneezing. By then she went into my bedroom where she has her little bed and lay down. She didn’t eat and didn’t want to go outside. Before I went to bed, I give her a hug and clean her eyes. My husband called her in the morning to take her outside and he noticed she was gone. Everyone its devastated she was our spoiled precious dog. Our other dog looks sad and he goes into my room looking for her. He comes out with his head down and lay next to me. It’s kind like comforting us, especially the girls.

We cremated her and when spring comes she will be buried close to my flower garden. That was her favorite place. I confess, this holiday season has been awful. I lost my father and my dog. I feel empty, depressed, and a sadness its keeping me awake all night. I’m trying to control myself, however I can’t stop crying. I hope tomorrow I feel better.

Daily Post: Confess

Silent

It’s early Saturday morning and everyone its sleeping. The house is quiet and I’m having my cup of coffee. Today, I’m finishing my Christmas shopping. It looks my Saturday would be a busy one. I’m taking advantage of the silence in a few hours they all be up and I will be running after them. I love it when I can take time for myself. Of course, I can have a plan for the day, however not always goes as I planned it.

I love to take the time for my daily prayers and relax for a little bit until everyone wakes up. Since my dad passed, I’ve been feeling a little lost.

For now, I’m enjoying my cup of coffee in the dark. I really need this after a tough week. My husband and the girls have been sick and it’s time for me to take a little break.

Happy Saturday!

Daily Post: Silent

Jolly

I’m done decorating the house except for my dad’s bedroom. It’s hard to be in his bedroom looking at his belonging also I can smell him. On Friday, my sibling came to the house for his monthly rosary. I can’t believe it’s been a month since he passed. I’m trying to be strong for my family, especially for my grandkids.

Last night, we took the grandkids to the Christmas lightning at the park. They have a Christmas display from different small business around the park and the drive become a fun one. The Christmas lights and the music it makes you feel right into the season. Then we ride around the town to check the decorations and we end the night with a cup of hot cocoa cover in marshmallows.

In two weeks Christmas will be here and for most of the people the holiday season will be over. I’m trying to hide my sadness and my sorrow all for the joy of my family. They deserved a happy Christmas.

I realized our life can be gone in a second for that reason lets the jolly Christmas be in our heart. Let’s enjoy every minute with our love ones. You never know it could be the last one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Post: Jolly

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is one of the most important day of the year it’s the beginning of the holidays. The house is quiet and I’m already have the turkey in the oven. We will have thanksgiving lunch, since my daughter in law has to work. The Thanksgiving dinner reunion for the rest of the family will be tonight at my nephew’s home.

This was my dad’s favorite holiday and it’s been 12 days since he passed. I can’t stop crying when I look at his bedroom and today it will be a tough one. I don’t want the kids to notice I’m getting depressed all over again. They are expecting to see a few decorations and to listen to my Christmas songs.

I hope I can get the strength to at least have something done for them. I know in my heart; my dad would like for me to move on. However, I miss him and my heart feels sadness.

To the ones who celebrated this holiday, Happy Thanksgiving and cherish every moment.