I wake up this morning wanting to write in this letter. I pray daily. I ask questions and I ask for answers. I feel I don’t know how to talk or listen to you. As a mother my children are my priority and when I pray, I always ask you to protect them. My daughter called last night heartbroken and I got upset. Why her? Why if I leave my children in your care this has to happen to her? I’m trying to understand.
I’m a decent person. I’m grateful for everything I’ve I always do, still it looks it’s not enough. Why, when I think everything is going well these things have to happen? How can I help my daughter when I don’t an answer from you?
God, why I can’t hear your voice? Don’t feel offended, I’m not challenging you I want to hear you. I want what others claim they can hear your voice. Do I need to do something different? I’m getting tired of praying and praying and feeling that no one cares. Don’t take it in a wrong way I’m not questioning your authority. I love going to church, reading passages of the bible, and listening to gospel music. Meanwhile, everyone else feels the grace of your love, however my heart feels empty. Why?
I’m not depressed. My mind is clear and I’m focus. This is not about myself not believing in you, because I do believe in you. I believe in the power of prayers and I do believe in miracles. What it’s wrong?
I understand no one’s life is perfect and we all have to deal with difficulties. There is ups and downs in everyone’s life and we have to try to be a better person. My sister like to say it’s God’s will and he knows what is doing or God has a purpose. A purpose, what kind of purpose. All I want is my prayer be heard. Oh God, my daughter needs you now.
Why you test our love and respect? What’s my purpose and how I can prove it to you? I sound upset and yes, I am. However, please don’t punish myself for being upset and don’t take it on my children. It’s true, I don’t go to church often; however, it doesn’t make me a terrible person. Okay I’m going to ask what is your plan for me and my family?
I don’t want to hear any criticism or is God’s plans from anyone, because my heart is crying for my daughter. God this is me you know my heart. This is a mother who is praying for her daughter. Also, I think I’ve proved my love for you. I know you have to answer to others prayers; however, I do want to hear your voice like any other Christian who claims you do answer their prayers. If that it’s a selfish request?
Again, I’m not depressed I’m just sad about this situation. I will keep praying, I will keep my faith, and I will keep waiting for an answer. I hope my daughter gets the peace and clarity she needs.
I hope I can get what I’m asking from you. And I’m sorry for my mistakes since I’m not perfect.
It has been exactly a week since I lose my father. I’ve been gone from social media and from my blog, my mind is all mess up.
For the past five years I took care of him and I want to think he left been happy. Every time I go upstairs and look at his room, I can still see him sitting in his bed.
I don’t want to be mad at God, but then again, I pray hard to God asking to save his life. I feel abandoned by God. People keep telling me it was his time; however, I wasn’t ready. The doctor checked on him two weeks ago and his legs and posture were getting stronger. The only issue he was complaining was a pain in his shoulder. I asked God why now my dad has to die.
My dad was excited when I get him a poinsettia for his room. He was excited to see his room decorated for the holidays.
On Friday I receive his urn. It’s hard looking at the urn in his room. I can’t stop crying when I look at it. His urn would be in his room until we can get him back to Puerto Rico, where he will be buried with my mom.
I want to thank for the nice comments and condolences. I need to take a short break. I’ve a bunch of paperwork from him I’ve to take care and I need the time to grieve.
Today is Palm Sunday which marks Jesus triumphal entry into Jerusalem. It is also the beginning of Holy Week.